Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Mary Jane
so i was checking my yahoo mail yust a minute ago and i saw this picture as an advertisement. does it look like there are pot leaves in this pic? what the crap is up with that? post an opinion on what u think it is... lol
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Three Daughters
There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn’t afford it and neither could there parents. So the parents said “We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married”. So they got married and all three daughters then said “I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it”. The parents couldn’t afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house. So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink. On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it. When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it. When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it. The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter “Why were you screaming?”. And the daughter replied “Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt.” Then the mother said to the second daughter “Why were you laughing last night?” and the daughter replied “Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled”. Then the mother said to the last daughter “Why didn’t I hear anything coming from your room last night?” and the daughter replied “Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full”.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Computer Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. PASSWORD DENIED - NOT LONG ENOUGH
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in…
P…..
E…..
N…..
I…..
S…..
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
GOODNIGHT KISS
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her “Darling, would you give me a blow job?” Horrified, she replies “Are you mad? My parents will see us!” Him: “Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” Her: “No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?” Him: “Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!” Her: “No way. It’s just too risky!” Him (horny as hell): “Oh please, please, I love you so much!” Her: “No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!” Him: “Oh yes you can. Please?” Her: “No, no. I just can’t” Him: “I beg you… ” Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..”
Catholic Girls
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St Peter. St Peter asks first girl, “Rebecca, have you ever had any contact with a penis?” St Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Meg have you ever Had any contact with a penis?” St Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.” All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says “Amy! What seems to be the rush?” The girl replies “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jenny sticks her ass in it”
She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of One with the tip of my finger.”
St Peter says, “OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water And pass through the gate.”
The girl is a little reluctant but replies “Well once I fondled and stroked one.”
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Face Transplant
the first ever woman to have a face transplant reveals her new look... she looks like she got hit with a thousand pound bag of 'fucking ugly'!!!!!!!!!! i want your opinion on what the hell u think she looks like... comment....i know you want to!!!
Break In!!!
A guy breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.” To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
Pharmacy
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!” The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.” The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!”
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Hey It's Spring Time!!!!!!
You
Know
Its
Spring
Time
When
The
Girls
Start
To
Show
Off
There
Belly
Buttons!!!
hahahahahahahaha!! wow my first post... i am back!!!
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